positively spifferous

music: {the get up kids - "martyr me"} <~quite a keen song ;)



well yesterday we went out to target to grab some necessities for my mom's trip. and she insisted on buying me new underwear. wasn't too excited about that.
but then...i was looking at the wall of unmentionables, and set eyes this lovely pair in particular. thick fabric, soft pink, brown boarder, and an english flag on the buttocks. HELL YES BABY! lol, i fell in love with them right there. super underoos! i love them. they express my unhealthy infatuation with the british. teehee.
i should start pulling my pants down in front of random strangers...

anywho, i've discovered that when my mother leaves, i'm going to play the part of the mommy for two weeks. feeling pretty good about that. i'm willing to see how i'd portray a mother. i do want to have kids when i get older. i know i can care for an infant and toddler. but a five year old i'm not sure. so this is my chance to see.

i re-posted the cemetary scene, because the ending was cut off. if you haven't read it yet, please scroll down and check it out. if you have read it, and missed the ending, check it out as well.

my time is spent. i need to go yogalize. ta ta.

Colleen

EXT. – CEMETARY – DAY

 

Drew is sitting Indian-style in front of a grave stone in particular, dressed in black, with a bottle of Corona in her hands, a six-pack at her right, and an empty bottle to her left. She swigs back a few gulps, cringes at the taste, then takes a few more guzzles. She is now staring flatly at the headstone, reading the words engraved into it over and over again.

 

      DREW

      (For the 5^th time)

      Here lies beloved daughter. . .

      (Pause, swigs )

      . . . Wife, and mother; Julia May Dunville. She was treasured through out her       years. Born 1959, Deceased 2002.

      (Sips once more)

      Beloved wife, ha! That’s rich. Whoever knows my mother and believes that load of       shiit is more full of it than the statement itself.

 

She rocks back and forth and looks up at the bright sky. There is not one cloud up there, nothing but pure blue. She hears footsteps behind her, and a MAN comes into the picture.

 

As he walks up, he speaks.

 

      MAN

      I figured I’d find you here.

     

      DREW

      (Sighs uncomfortably)

      What a horrible cliché of an opening sentence, James, you could do better than       that.

 

She sips the and cringes once again.

 

      JAMES

      (To Drew; still standing in back of her)

      Why weren’t you at the funeral this morning?

 

      DREW

      (Still staring at grave)

      I had much better things to do than watch mom’s lifeless carcass get put      into the ground inside a box lined with silk.

 

      JAMES

      Satin.

 

      DREW

      Whatever.

 

      JAMES

      See, you would have actually known that if you went with us to pick out the   coffin.

     

Drew doesn’t reply. She just takes another gulp from the now half-empty bottle of . James looks at the pack next to her.

 

      JAMES

      Is that Corona?

 

      DREW

      (Sips)

      Yes.

     

     

       JAMES

       (Concerned)

       Drew, you're drinking?

     

He walks up beside her and takes a seat on the dry grass.

 

      JAMES

      (Beat)

      Without me?

 

Drew reluctantly hands him a bottle, he grabs it, opens it with his hand, and takes in a mouthful.

 

      JAMES

      (To Drew)

      For the record, I told you that it’s wrong to drink under age.

 

      DREW

      Right.

 

      JAMES

      (Swigs)

      So, what’s the real reason why you didn’t go to the ceremony?

      (Beat)

      And you better not fûcking tell me that you had to buy beêr and cigarettes.

 

      DREW

      (Turns to him; sips; speaks morbidly)

      I had to buy bêer and cigarettes.

 

      JAMES

      Damn it, Drew! When are you going to grow up? This isn’t a joking matter.

      (Pause)

      Mom’s deâd.

 

      DREW

      (Snaps at him)

      You don’t think I understand that?

 

      JAMES

      Why didn’t you go to the funeral then, huh?

      (Beat)

      Is there some sort of mind-blowing reason why you just had to miss our mother’s burial?

 

      DREW

      No.

      (Pause)

      I just didn’t feel like being there is all.

 

      JAMES

      (Sips)

      And you accuse me of being clichéd?

      (Pause; much angrier now)

      What the hell is wrong with you? What the is your problem?

 

      DREW

      (Angrily turns to him)

      I’m sitting in front of my own mother’s grave, James. You tell me what the fûck my problem is.

 

      JAMES

      I’m feeling just as much grief as you are right now. She’s my mother too.

 

      DREW

      (Glares)   

      Yea, but she didn’t kill hêrselg on your birthday, did she?

 

      JAMES

      (Throws head back in monotony)

      Don’t give me that! I thought we went over this already.

      (Beat)

      She couldn’t have planned it to happen, Drew. She probably just forgot that it      was your birthday.

 

      DREW

      (Sarcastically)

      Oh, that’s a much better scenario, James, absolutely ideal, thanks a million.

 

      JAMES

      You know what I mean. She could have just been caught in the spur of the moment.

      (Beat)

      I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it.

 

Drew’s finger drags along the rim of the bottle.

 

      DREW

      I know that.

      (Pause; swig)

      It’s not that she did it on my birthday that bothers me, James; it’s that she       did it. I mean, how can you pay respect to someone who thought the only way to    solve things was to end their life completely?

 

James feels that she has more to say, so he listens attentively and takes a drink from his bêer.

 

      DREW

      I don’t think I would have been able to contain myself at the funeral, being around all those foolish mourners.

      (Sips)

      Crying and groaning at their loss, wishing mom to rest in piece and what-not.       They shouldn’t be feeling sympathy and sorrow; they should be angry and pìssed.

 

      JAMES

      And that’s what you are?

 

      DREW

      Yes. Extremely. I’m highly disappointed in her, and I don’t think I’ll be able      to hold her in high regards ever again.

 

      JAMES

      You’re blowing this thing entirely out of proportion, sis.

 

      DREW

      Am I? Am I? ‘Cause I don’t really think I am, bro.

 

      JAMES

      Well, you are. Mom’s deâd. She’s deâd, alright?

      (Beat)

      It doesn’t fûcking matter how she died, the only thing that’s really of any       importance here is that she is deâd.

 

      DREW

      I know- I know that. And I’ve already taken that into thought.

      (Pause; swig)

      It’s just… everyone is expecting me to be in mourning, and to be trapped in         empathy and bereavement, but I’ve already used up all my sorrow when dad served     her with divorce papers.

      (Turns away from him; looks at headstone)

      Now I’m just pìssed that she was so narrow-minded- thinking sûicide was the   only answer.

 

      JAMES

      (On a light note)

      Hey, I seem too recall a young thirteen-year-old standing on the rooftop of   Granny May’s house in the middle of winter daring to jump.

 

      DREW

      (Scowls at him)

      That’s a completely different situation. It was a one-story house, how hurt   could I have gotten? A broken leg, at the most. Plus, I was merely testing the laws of gravity; there were no suîcidal intentions behind it.

      (Pause; then quickly turns to him)

      I thought I told you never to mention that.

 

      JAMES

      (Finishes béer; grabs another)

      Well, it’s hard for me not to, considering the fact that you were up there for 2       hours and we had to call the fire-department to get you down.

 

      DREW

      (Laughs)

      You see there I was testing the vigor of Granny May’s authority.

 

      JAMES

      (Wide-eyed)

      Drew, she almost had a stroke!

 

      DREW

      Yea well, age does that to you.

 

The two siblings share a long-awaited and heartfelt laugh.

 

      JAMES

      (In between snickers)

      No, now in all seriousness-

      (Beat)

      The Gnat and I signed the papers after the wake.

 

      DREW 

      (Smile fades)

      I still don’t understand why I’m being put into your custody and not dad’s. I’ve    got no problem with it, don’t get me wrong; actually, I prefer to stay with you   and The Gnat. I just can’t seem to grasp this conformity.

 

      JAMES

      (Looks down)     

      Well, during the divorce, mom made him sign a document stating that you’ll be       put under our care if anything would happen to her. And something did, so here    we are.

 

      DREW

      And dad agreed to this?

 

      JAMES

      I guess. He signed the papers, I’m not sure if it was forced or voluntary.

 

      DREW

      (Sincere and quiet)

      James.

 

He takes a sip from his newly opened bêer and looks at her. She returns his gaze with frank eyes.

 

      JAMES

      What? What is it?

 

      DREW

      (Looks down at )

      Today, at the funeral, did dad try to deny the documents? You know, did he try      to be my father again, to gain my guardianship? Did he put up a fight?

 

James places his hand on her shoulder, about to break painful news to her.

      JAMES

      (Facing her)

      Drew-

      (Pause)

      Dad wasn’t at the funeral.

I had to re-post this piece, the ending was cut off. James' last line didn't show.

Bartleby: The Rededication is in four days.

Loki: Our last four days on earth. If I had a dîck, I'd go get laid. But we can do the next best thing.

Bartleby: What's that?

Loki: ...Let's kill people.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  

hello, there. how is life treating all of you? that's nice. good to hear it.

school starts in a couple of days. this wednesday. very anxious. and yet i'm also dreading it. but, hey. doesn't everyone have the pre-school jitters?

the only ones that don't get nervous before school starts, are the soon-to-be kindergarteners. only because they don't know better than to look forward to it with every ounce of energy in their possession. oh how i envy them. how i long to be five again.

i might, MIGHT, go to brittany's house tomorrow. if she calls me. and if my mom says yes. if i am allowed, we just might take a little walk to stop & shop. she's planning on giving mike his stuff back. yes, they broke up. it makes me sad, but it's for the best.

anywho, part of me wants to go to stop & shop, just 'cause it's a crazy-cool store. but the other part of me, the one with common sense, says that it's a bad idea. i don't think i want to see tom. i want to avoid seeing him as much as possible.

i don't know. maybe it's a good idea. maybe i should go, and just let him see that the whole thing between us was merely a fling, and only that. yes. that's right. i'll walk in there with my head held high and show him i'm not effected. and then... run to the dairy section and read the ingredient labels on the yogurt thingies.

so i'm chicken shît. there's nothing wrong with that.

well. i'm still not sure about what's going to happen. we'll just have to wait and see.

and brittany is right. we need new love interests. we should just point out random guys and stalk them. we're sneaky enough. or maybe...i can develop an unhealthy obsession with brian molko. craig nicholls? jason lee? brandon boyd?

my older sister, vanessa, called me last night. we talked about random things. she cleared a few things up that were all foggy in my brain. i've established the idea to not give tom his bracelet back just yet. it's too much of a slap in the face. even though he might not give a rat's ass whether i keep it or not, i'll just stow it away in my locker, saving it for when he asks for it.

oh guess what!! vincent's speaking clearly now. i'm so proud. {vincent is vanessa's 2 yr old - almost 3 - son} she put him on the phone with me and he said "Hi, Tia Colleen!" isn't that spectacular? he sound so cute, and we've been so worried that he wouldn't learn how to talk the right way, and now we've been proven wong. i cried. shut up, i'm allowed to cry. and then he sang to me. his favorite song. "Maps" by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. kids got spiffy taste, does he not? he also sang me "The Reason" by Hoobastank. i think i've had a good influence on this kid. now all i need to do is get him to take guitar lessons and pierce his lip when he's older, and i'm set. ;)

blah. i smell. i need to take a shower. but i'm babysitting moira.

[+EDIT]

i just went up to little east neck road. grabbed a snapple from CVS and walked back home. i liked being on my own, alone for a while. t'was good. i was going to invite kate to come along with me, but it turns out she was at kayla's house, so no cigar. i went by myself, and i think i had a good time. going to try to go tomorrow, if i don't go to britt's house. which is a good chance i wont, because she hasn't called yet and my mother wouldnt let me if she did. maybe i'll drop by a deli or something. mom says there's a cute little stationary store a trifle farther, just might check that out.

alright, well i'm spent. going to go try and add stuff to my script. ta.

Colleen

depressed

music: {violent delight - "same old story"} <~ spiffy song, check it out.

mood: peachy

music: {ghost of the robot - "vehicles shock me"} <~actually quite a good song...

yea, here's a piece. enjoy.

this is actually a full scene, so whee. READ THIS PLEASE. thank you ;)

---

INT. – HOTEL BEDROOM – DAY (Before the incident)

 

Light breaks into the room from behind closed curtains, and Drew stirs in bed. Someone is seated next to her, awaiting her arousal. (Not that kind of arousal, you dirty, dirty, child.)

Her eyes open slowly, take in the view of the person next to her, and then shut. Without reopening them, she speaks.

 

      DREW

      (Groggily)

      Danielle, what the hell are you doing in my hotel room?

 

DANIELLE holds up a cupcake with a single lit candle stabbed into the center, and begins to sing the Birthday Song. After she is finished, she returns to her normal voice.

 

      DANIELLE

      Happy sixteenth, Drew-ness. Come on, sit up and blow the candle out.

     

      DREW

      (Eyes still fastened)

      How did you get in here without a key?

 

      DANIELLE

      (Anxious)

      I flirted with a bell-boy and got him to let me in.

      (Bouncing in her seat)

      Come on, come on, now make a wish and blow the candle out before the whole thing catches fire.

 

Drew unwillingly rises from her sheets, hair going out in all directions, and takes a look at the cupcake, questioning its origin.

 

      DREW

      Dani, that’s a cupcake from the batch they were giving out free in the entrance       hall yesterday.

 

      DANIELLE

      (Still enthusiastic)

      So? It’s still a cupcake, it’s still your birthday, and you’ve still got to blow    the candle out. Come-fûcking-on, you pain in the ass, make a wish.

 

DREW

(Sardonically)

Well, when you put it like that, who am I to oppose?

 

She hunkers down, closes her eyes for a brief moment in deep thought, opens them, and blows out the flame that was atop the half-melted candle.

 

DANIELLE

What did you wish for?

 

DREW

Now, Danielle Melissa Harrison, if I told you what I wished for it wouldn’t   come true, would it?

 

DANIELLE

(Rolls eyes)

Don’t give me that, you of all people shouldn’t believe that shiit-drenched myth       that society feeds us.

(Sneaks a few finger dips of icing)

They make it sound as if the wish would come true in the first place. And you       and I both know better than to be so naïve.

 

DREW

(Shows discomfort; rubs eyes in fatigue)

God, woman, quit running your mouth, it’s too fûcking early for me to be       listening.

 

Drew pulls the sheets off of herself and gets out of bed, revealing her sleep-attire; a white spaghetti strap and a pair of simple white underwear.

 

      DANIELLE

      Then tell me what you wished for, you big pansy-ass wench.

 

Drew shrugs her shoulders and holds them in suspension.

 

      DREW

      Stop your probing. And name-calling wont get you jack shiit. Why do you want to know, anyway?

      (Pause; no answer from Danielle, just a blank gaze)

      Fine, if you’re so damned curious-

      (Beat; drops her shoulders)

      I wished for a happy ending.

 

Danielle’s gaze drops to a frown, and she gets up from her place on the bed, wanders over to her life-long friend and takes her in a cordial embrace.

 

      DANIELLE

      (Into her ear)

      You’ll have it. Eventually.

      (Beat)

      Now stop being a depressed little blob, it’s your fûcking birthday. Get wacky,      get wild. Get wasted.

      (Lets her go)

      Don’t forget we’re meeting the crew for bagels and cappuccinos. They’ve all got     you a gift. Plus, Curtis says he wrote you a song on his new acoustic.

 

      DREW

      (Throws her head back)

      God, Curtis has to stop trying.

 

      DANIELLE

      Yea, . He doesn’t have to stop trying; you have to stop rejecting him.

 

Drew saunters over to the window and pushes the curtains to the side and looks out at the fading light.

 

      DREW

      (Sighs)

      No, I’m just not interested.

 

DANIELLE

The fûck you aren’t. You’ve been interested since the third grade. And he’s a       good guy, unlike every other walking pênis you’ll find in our school.

 

DREW

(After a brief giggle)

Well, I just don’t like him anymore.

 

DANIELLE

Yea, as if I’d believe that.

(Beat)

It’s not that you’ve lost interest in him. You’re just discouraged and upset with your parents’ split-up. You’ve been like this for two God damn weeks.

(Takes hold of her shoulders)

It’s your birthday. Act like it. And act like the Drew that I knew before all       this drama happened. I’m starting to miss her; we’re all starting to miss her.

 

Drew turns around and smiles at Danielle. Danielle takes hold of her cheek and gives her a gentle and encouraging smack.

 

      DANIELLE

      (Off pajamas)

      Now go put some real clothes on.

      (Beat)

      You’re driving the lêsbian inside me crazy with that outfit.

      (Winks)

 

Drew laughs, grabs some clothes from off the chair, and runs into the bathroom. While she is dressing, Danielle snacks on the cupcake’s icing.

 

Drew exits the bathroom fully clothed, es her side-bag, and absconds the bedroom with her friend at her side, leaving the cupcake behind.

 

They go into the living room of the hotel suite, and Drew walks off toward another room in front of her.

 

      DANIELLE

      What are you doing?

 

      DREW

      (Looking O.S.)

      I’ve got to check on my mom.

 

      DANIELLE

      Is she still catatonic?

 

      DREW

      (Turns the door knob)

      We’ll see.

 

They enter into the room to see Drew’s mother, MRS. DUNVILLE, seated at the foot of her already-made bed. It looks untouched, almost as if she hadn’t gone to sleep at all. She was staring into a void, hands entwined and resting on her lap.

 

      DREW

      Mom?

      (Caringly)

      I’m going out for some breakfast with Danielle and the rest; do you want me to       bring you back a bagel or some coffee?

 

No sound from her mother.

 

      DANIELLE

      (Jokingly)

      Can I pick you up some Pall Malls and côndoms, Mrs. D? Textured or flavored?

 

As she says this, Drew throws a playful smack her way onto her abdomen, Danielle is laughing while she crouches over in hilarity. There is still no answer from Mrs. Dunville, just silence.

 

Danielle looks at Drew, perplexed, and hops in front of her doing a “Happy Dance.”

 

      DANIELLE

      Hey come on, Mrs. D.

      (Beat)

      It’s Drew’s birthday. Let’s boogie!

      (Does the twist; turns back to her; stops)

      Alright, fine. Be a stiff.

 

Drew looks at Danielle disapprovingly and shakes her head in disappointment. Danielle shrugs and leaves the room. As she exits, she speaks.

 

      DANIELLE

      (To Drew)

      I’m gonna go have a cigarette; I’ll meet you outside in front of the building.

 

Drew walks over to her mother and notices that she is dressed in the same clothes she wore yesterday. She pushes a clump of hair out of her still face and places it behind her cold ear. She pulls a brush from the cosmetics bag on the side and starts to comb her hair gently. 

 

      DREW

      (While brushing)

      We’re going to end up fine, ma.

 

When she is finished she puts down the brush and ambles on over to the window to open up the curtains, and continues to speak.

 

      DREW

      It’s all going to be okay. We’ll get through this.

      (Pause)

      I’m going out; I’ll probably be back in an hour with some breakfast for you.

      (Beat)

      Until then, we’re on the top floor, look at that view. It’s beautiful isn’t it?

 

She returns to her mother and gives her a tender kiss on the cheek.

 

      DREW

      I love you, ma.

 

She leaves her mother and walks out of the room, shutting the door.

 

A tear falls from Mrs. Dunville’s eye, and pursues down her cheek.

 

      MRS. DUNVILLE

      (In a whisper)

      I love you too.

---

Please tell me what you think, I would love some feedback. Thank you.

music: {boy sets fire - "rookie"}



i got my school information today in the mail. locker number and combo, and my advisory class. it's the same stuff as last year. same locker, same combination, and same advisory. great, not much of a change, no problems. woohoo!
and i'm absolutely extatic. do you know why? because i'm on a roll with my script. i'm loving it, i'm reading it over and over, and i think it's great. at least for my first try, you know? i can't wait to finish it. and have all my friends read it. whee!
i'm going to post a piece of it in here later.
anywho, i'm going to go work on it. ta ta.

Colleen

well. this year is going to be interesting. my mother had just informed me that she's not going to buy me any new clothes for the new school year. personally, i don't care. it's the reason she gave me that bothers me. "you have a bunch of clothes in the closet that you never wear." yes. okay. true. but that never bothered her before. evidently, my parents are in a financial slump. in need of saving money for my mother's emergency trip to mexico. (to nurse my cancerous grandmother to health) today i caught my mother on the phone asking our landlord for a stretch on this month's rent. i'm not yet sure whether the permission was granted.
well. fine. i'm glad she's putting the money to use, rather than buying cowboy boots and gucci bags from catalogues every damned day. (she's awaiting the boots in the mail)

No mood right now

Music: {Dimmu Borgir - "Puritania"}

what to do. what to do. well. i'm just going to have to see what happens when school starts. i loath making big deals of things when they haven't even happened yet. i haven't seen tom in months, and i'm already placing him under the Walking Dick catagory. maybe he is one. actually, i'm pretty sure he is.
am i really afraid? should i really give tom a chance?

yes, i'm afraid. and no, i should not.

i need my brittany. she hasn't been around lately on the computer, and i'm suffering from withdrawal. she usually helps me out with things, and i need her more than ever.

maybe i'll just give him a chance. learn from my own fûck ups. sure, he might try to get me in bed. but it's not like he's going to succeed. sure he might cheat on me, but it's not like it'd be a surprise. and most definitely, he'd dump me. but hell, rejection isn't new to me.

...and just for the record, i'm content with being a child in the forest.


Colleen