I AM COLLEEN.
I'm Colleen.
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Sunday, December 26, 2004
Ah. Watched Never Been Kissed an hour or so ago. It was about... the eleventh time. It's a great movie. It just makes me smile every time I see it. I can never get sick of it. That's how you tell a fantastic movie from the not-so-good ones. If you can see it over and over without growing tired of it, it's a keeper.
You want to know why I love this movie so much?
Well, for starters... Drew Barrymore is one of my favorite actresses. She brings a certain pazazz that no other actress could ever bring.
The storyline is a fairytale, at least in my eyes, and I love the concept of a modernized fairytale.
Almost every female student has a fântasy of becoming romantically involved with a teacher (maybe I'm one of them), especially when fed a work from Shakespeare.
It gives me hope that a nerdy literature-fixated mook such as myself can find requited love at some point.
And also... Michael Vartan is quite the looker. He's just so fun to look at.
It also reminds me of my first kiss, which can also be called my only kiss. I'm not saying that Tom was my Mr. Coulson. He was actually the opposite... to the degree where I want to forget the whole thing ever happened. I just want to pretend that I've still never been kissed.
Tom was my kiss of curiosity, a cruel thing to say, I know... but... it's not like he cares. Plus, to him, I was merely a fem of the moment. He went on to having sêx with a Guami that summer, and I... went on stressing about the kiss. There was a mutual feeling of insignificance.
I just hope that eventually... the implied confusion will clear up, and I'll find my happiness.
Colleen
Posted at 06:22 pm by crows_vein
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Gifts:
From Moira:
A new watch
A used Spongebob-Themed pôker deck
From "Santa":
A miniature porcelain doll
Ohm Jasmine & Rose Exfoliating Body Scrub
Ohm Citrus & Ginger Moisturizing Body Spray
Nail filer
Self-sharpening Eyeliner
Tweezers
$100 in cash
and Candy
So... I've really got nothing to complain about. I love my new watch. It's great. I can now burry the watch my Grandmother gave me a while back. Três magnifique.
Mom loved her gift, or gifts because there were two of them. I bought her two 10 lb weights. She likes to exercise, and she's always whining about the 15s being too heavy and the 5s being to light. And everytime we go to Target, she goes to go look at the 10s and prays the prices were lower. So I bought them for her without her knowing. Her face lit up. Good. It's about time she feels grateful for having me around me. Well... maybe she's always felt grateful. It's just about time she shows it.
I got my dad a little key chain calculator thing. It calculates tips for poor, average, or excellent service. He nevers knows how much to give, so he just rounds it off. 10% for poor service. 15% for average. And 20% for excellent. Now he can use the calculator the figure out the right amount. And he loves the idea because he travels a lot and never knows what to give. So now he will. Whee.
And Moira adored her gift, if I don't say so myself. I bought her a Spongebob-themed viewer thing. You know... you pull a lever and the slide changes. It came with three slides reels... and out of all that jazz "Santa" gave her, she's spending most of her time playing with the thing I gave her. It warms my icy heart.
Well... I'm going to go take a shower. Red-dot Week began yesterday... and I feel filthy.
Ta.
Colleen
Posted at 02:34 pm by crows_vein
Friday, December 24, 2004
I watched Coyote Ugly a few moments ago. My views:
Horrible acting. Pointless plot. Not-so-bad cast... Piper P-Something has no talent in this movie. John Goodman has lowered his standards. Tyra Banks was okay...
Utterly AMAZING strip tease by Adam Garcia. Gave me shivers. Multiple shivers. Loved it. Absolutely loved it. Drop-onto-your-knees sêxy Australian taking some of it off while dancing on a bar. Ideal.
I fell over. I literally fell off my chair and sidedived onto the floor, my eyes not at all leaving the television screen. My head hurts a little bit... but t'was worth it.
I have decided that for my birthday (which is six months from now) I'm going to invite a few of my friends to my house and we will rent and watch tons of movies. One of those being Coyote Ugly... so we could rewind that one scene over and over again... Wheee....
Posted at 09:31 pm by crows_vein
Russell Mitchell of Exile Cycles
Russell Mitchell of Exile Cycles is an English god when it comes to his highly Old School and Industrial bikes. He has been on several episodes of World Biker Build Off and is included in another coming out Jan 11th. I can't wait. This man is a genius. Not only does he make outstandingly fantastic motorcycles, but he's English. And covered in ink. And he used to be a male môdel. And to me, he looks like Billy Idol.
So yes... Russell Mitchell is now one of my minor obsessions. Isn't he beautiful?
Colleen
Posted at 04:03 pm by crows_vein
Sucker love is known to swing. Prone to cling and waste these things. Pucker up for heaven's sake. There's never been so much at stake.
My older sister - Vanessa - called last night, and I think it as the first time we've ever spent on the phone together for over 20 minutes. We talked for 1 hr and 46 minutes. That's longer than I've ever talked to anyone at one consecutive moment. That's absolutely crazy... Especially for someone like myself because telephones are foreign objects to me.
One of the things we talked about was mom and her low tolerance for people with a two-digit pants size. (We started this discussion when Vanessa told me she went from a size 7 to an 11.) I told her about the incident with the name-calling, bathroom quarantine, and frequent sobbing. (If you don't know what I'm talking about click "next page" on the bottom of this one, scroll down til you see the entry name "Teenage Angst". A brief version of the ordeal.) And she tried her best to explain to me a logical reason why mom is so harsh on weight and physical appearance. And I guess it would be good to share with all of you.
Vanessa has a different biological father than I do, and when my mother was courting this man... he made her believe she was hideous. He insulted her and depleted her self-esteem. He called her trash and he treated her like trash. He beat her, threatened her life, and made her feel like she was the ugliest woman alive.
Then, when she took Vanessa away from this man, and left him for a better life... She met my father. And when they started courting, he made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. He let her wear dresses, skirts... fancy attire and such. Something Vanessa's father never did. And mom took a long time to adjust to her new found beauty. And I guess eventually she grew accustomed to being called gorgeous... and that is why she shoves into my face how much she's lost weight, and how beautiful she is and how much bigger I am compared to her... I guess that is why she is so vain.
Yea, well. I have sympathy for and her traumatizing relationship with that heartless man, but I'm still very annoyed with her vanity and depleting of my self-esteem.
I hope soon she learns that it isn't a good thing to call your child a fat cow.
Then Vanessa told me how much she is turning into mom. She does the things mom does now. And she says when I get older, I'll turn into her too.
See... I'm going to try very hard not to, however, I'll probably end up failing and becoming worse than my mother, knowing my luck. But I'm going to try nonetheless.
I would loath to be the natural enemy of my own children just as my mother is to me.
Vanessa is my only source of sanity. And you know what really busts my chops? The fact that she is nearly 3,000 miles away. She's the only thing that pulls me back into the positives of living in this family. She and her son. She and her life... the stories she tells. Her experiences that she shares with me make me more anxious to get the fcuk out of this house. To get the fcuk out of this state, to get the fcuk off this side of the country.
The idea of going to college in California is growing more and more appealing to me, and I can't help but be counting the days until I graduate high school.
The last thing I want to do is leave Moira home with mom. She'll be 8 when I graduate, and if my calculations are correct, by that time... mom would either be counting her calories or throwing her on the South Beach diet.
My mom is a lunatic.
I love her, I really do... but only because she's raised/raising me and she's half the reason for my existence. I just don't like her.
I like her about as much as you would cancer.
I can't wait to get out into the world. Graduate. Got to college. Get a stable and enjoyable job. Pay for my own place to live. Meet a guy fair enough to have children with (and possibly get married). Have them. Watch them blossom. And all that jazz in between. That jazz in between is what makes life worth living.
And I can't wait to start loving life.
Colleen
Posted at 11:46 am by crows_vein
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Just finished watching the last 1/2 hour or so of the movie Threesome... Well... It was fcuking funny, but highly disgusting and I had to close my eyes - not forced, but voluntarily - for several parts... being unable to take the extreme sêxual content. But here are a few quotes that made me happy.
Stuart: I'm telling you. If you don't have sêx soon, your dîck is going to shrivel up and go inside your body. Then what do you have? A vâgina.
Alex: What are you doing in here?
Eddie: Our room has a foul and mysterious odor.
Alex: So clean it, you used to be a clean person.
Eddie: That was before I moved in with him. I used to make hospital corners, now I don't even change the sheets.
Alex: What are you doing in here?
Eddie: Our room has a foul and mysterious odor.
Alex: So clean it, you used to be a clean person.
Eddie: That was before I moved in with him. I used to make hospital corners, now I don't even change the sheets
Eddie: If Alex and Stuart were genetically merged into one person, he or she would've been the love of my life.
Alex: I find libraries very erôtic.
Alex: If you eat my yogurt again, I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna fûcking kill you.
Stuart: You make murdêr sound so sêxual, Alex.
Posted at 07:52 pm by crows_vein
Brittykins on my lap. (Don't kid yourself, you is one seckseh mama.)
Me with Brittany's glasses (and my seckseh emo glasses underneath) And Jenna's arm.
Lookie. It's Ari's thong. Heehee.
Posted at 06:03 pm by crows_vein
Pointless Survey, but I'm bored.
Read this before you read the survey: I know I'm wasting my time telling you this but... This isn't about a perfect mate for me. Just a person I'd like to meet or hang out with. Get it straight =)
ULTIMATEEE BOY SURVEY!
--Your Favorite--
Hair Color: brown or
Eye Color: Uh... Green or blue. With "Emo" glasses.
(Their)Music Genre Preference: Just not rap, hip hop, or r&b. Preferably Rock, Emo, and/or Metal.
Height(estimate): Taller than me. Sometimes I like to feel inferior. Superiority scares me.
Age: Older than me or maybe the same age.
Personality Type: Shy, but at the same time straight forward. Humble. Vanity is sickening. Amusing, sarcastic, sardonic... cynical and insightful. Philisophical, but not to the point of conceit.
--This or That--
Older or Younger: Older.
Romantic or Horndog: Hah. ....Not horndog... and not greatly romantic.
Smart or Stupid: I don't like feeling stupid all that much, but I like learning things from smarter people. So sure... smart.
Fat or Skinny: Skinny boys are cool. But I don't care. Fat is just a protective covering for their rock-hard abs.
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular: skinny but muscular
Punk or Preppy: People don't know the definition of the term "punk" any more. But preppyness nauseates me.
The Big Picture or the Little Things: It's the little things that you treasure. (Poor english, oh well)
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present: doesnt really matter..
Mixtape or Burned CD: Both. But mixed tapes are sweetly old fashioned, so they are majorly kick-ass.
Love or Lûst: Luuuuuuuuuuuust. Ha, no. Maybe both. I wish I could feel both.
Emotional or Just Not: Aw, I love emotional fellows. They're so awesomely awesome.
Sincere or Jokester: Both is swell.
Hot and mean or Ugly and sweet: Those aren't always choices in life. So I'll leave that unanswered.
Sêxy or Just "cute": Sêxy... Because I can "cute" from watching Boy Meets World.
Arse or Abs: Uh... Do I care? No. But abs are cool. Asses... uh they're okay too. But I don't spend time checking out asses.
Hair or Hands: Hair. I love a fellow with spiffy hair.
Dimples or Eyes: Eyes. But I don't care. Dimples disturb me.
Biceps or Calves/Thighs: Haha, that's really funny. None. I don't like muscly people.
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) : Teeth?
Clean Shaven or Scruffy: Clean shaven. Scruffy is icky.
Rugged or Prim and Proper: Uh... Not too rugged. Because Prim and Proper is cool.
Countryboy or Cityboy: I don't care. Just no southern accent.
Date alone or With Friends : I don't date. But I would pick both just as long as he and his friends don't act like complete asswipes.
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause: Normally a question like this would have two parts that are contradictory to each other like the one above... but Mamas Boys and Rebels Without Causes are not opposites. But to answer your badly formed question, I'll choose Rebel Without A Cause... because you can't always put a cause into a rebel just with the right influence. But you can NEVER take the Mama-lovin' from a Mama's Boy. NEVER.
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much: Never had a guy to dump, and that reason is moronic.
Loved a guy because he stalked you: Stalkers are flattering? No, more like perturbing.
Loved a guy because he hâted you: Is that some lesser form of masôchism?
Asked your friend's crush out: I would never do that for two reasons... It woud hurt my friend, and I'm not into that. And also... I'm old-fashioned, so I'm against grls initiating the date.
Lead a guy on for kicks: Oh yes, I'm such a tease like that.
Asked a guy out purely because he was hot: No.
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend: Never had a boyfriend before and I don't flirt. If I ever do, I do it subconsciously and never realize it.
Lied about not having a boyfriend: I've never had a boyfriend before. And if I did, I wouldn't lie about it. I'd flaunt it.
Lied about having one: Nope.
Cheated: Never had anyone to cheat on or with. And cheating is too low for my taste.
Been Cheated on: Not really... No not technically. I don't know.
Had a crush on a guy: Sure, for petty reasons.
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Boxers?: Yes. Very much so.
Briefs?: Ew. No. No way.
Hat?: I don't care.
Skater Shoes?: Sure. Don't care.
Pimp Shoes?: No...
Band Shirts?: Yes.
Vintage shirts?: YES! I love vintage anything.
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?: I don't care... as long as they don't act like thugs. Bill G's cool... he where's stuff like that but he's an absolute sweetheart. He was the ONLY guy that did NOT bash the pictures of boys kissing on my organizer. I swear, that dude is absolutely one of a kind. He's going places, he really is.
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?: What are those?
Independent/DC?: Of course.
Skavenger/UGP?: Should I know what these are? Maybe. Do I? Not in the least.
Fox/Thor?: Wth are these?
Jeans or Shorts?: Anything that are pants. I strongly dislike fellows in shorts. Ugh... Tom's shorts annoy me. That's the only reason why I love winter, Tom doesn't wear shorts...
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?: The noble thing to do is to say no. But, I'm not noble. I'm pathetically greedy and materialistic. I like gifts and random presents... so I would possibly go out with a guy for his money... as long as he was a sweetheart and not all conceited-like.
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?: No.
Have you evr liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?: Never had a boyfriend.
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?: In what way? Doesn't matter. No one needs my approval for a cheering up.
Do looks matter?: To a certain degree. Society doesn't have to find them attractive. Don't base your attraction to a guy on the Prince Charming prototype. When love is true, you're attracted to them, and you really find them beautiful because the inner beauty affects the outer appearance.
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?: Rejection isn't a new thing to me. So I don't care.
Does size matter?: Wtf... I'm not interested in that area, thank you very much.
Do you avoid 'romantic situations' with ugly guys?: How mean. Plus, I've never had any situations with guys before. Tom maybe, but I didn't think he was ugly. Maybe on the inside, but that's a story I don't want to go through. Already had a bried remeniscing of that situation today, don't really want any more.
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?: My friends aren't ugly. I love them all and they are absolutely gorgeous. Wtf kind of inhumane question is that?
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be): That makes no sense, because the shame would go on and on and on... Then I would be ashamed for being ashamed for being ashamed for being ashamed. What a stupid question.
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?: I hide things from a lot of people.
Do you lie about mâsterbation for attention or false innocence?: I lie about a lot of things, just not that. Because I've never mâsterbated before. Why would I want false innocence? Everyone knows I'm not . But I wouldn't want attention on a topic like that, are you kidding me? Gross.
Do you really wait for a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat or not?: Why would I purposely draw attention to my ass? I might do that to my friends (Lol Britt and Christina) but not to a guy. And there's no such thing as "not" fat with me.
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?: I don't have a boyfriend, and I wouldn't mind if he didn't say it. As long as he showed it.
Wanna be a virgin till marriage? : Uh... Marriage... still a blurry idea for me. But I know I'm not having sêx in high school. College... who knows, I'd be old enough to get drunk, and chances are that (considering my strong need for love and appreciation) I'd be a loose and easy-to-fûck kind of drunk.
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?: I've NEVER said the words "I love you" and not mean them. Unless I've said them sarcastically.
Do you dream about your crushes/guy friends?: I dreamt about of a lot of guys... and it annoys me. They weren't crushes thought... just guy friends. That's why it annoys me.
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with or for the sake of curiosity?: Of course. Now that I think of it, the whole reason why I made out with Tom was because I was curious.
Does this survey suck nuts?: Haha, nuts... fun word. And no, it was cool actually. Cleared some things up for me. Thanks plenty.
Get ready for a real entry later.
Posted at 05:36 pm by crows_vein
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Fûck a coffee table.
Fûck a farm animal.
Fûck a couch.
Fûck a car.
Fûck a mailbox.
Fûck a friend.
Fûck a sibling.
Fûck a teacher.
Fûck an enemy.
Fûck a cactus.
Fûck a phonebooth.
Fûck a tree.
Fûck a dream.
Fûck an ambition.
Fûck yourself.
Doesn't it just make you tingle?
Posted at 09:53 pm by crows_vein
Indifferent
Current...
Music: Billy Idol - "White Wedding" <~ Billy Idol is t3h s3x...
Clothes: My white Happy Buddy "Hello I see the assassins have failed" shirt (that I made, bitch), my brown hoodie, old jeans, pink cons. And some red poofy necklance Moira let me borrow.
Food: One of those portable crackers-n-cheesedip snack pack things...
Drink: Pink lemonade.
Worry: Just leave me alone...
    
Today was a keen day.
Took a math test. Did okay.
Took a bio test. Did okay.
Watched parts of the Lion King. Is it just me, or is Scar a trifle too sophisticated that it seems a little flamboyant and flamish? SCAR'S A PEUFF!
Watched Beauty & The Beast in French... eh... I never saw the English version, so it's a little hard for me to follow.
Ate a chicken nugget sandwhich that Ashley bought me. Love her...
Britt came to my airbrushing class and we painted random things while I was supposed to be doing my Global homework. Hehe.
Ms. Zipkis told us we're going to play Battle of the Sêxes tomorrow in class. I have to gather up some man-smarts.
Ms. Connolly gave us a cool assignment in class. She gave us a list of all the people in our period, and we had to list compliments about them and later we'll give them too each other anonymously.
Justin found out I love The Hives and he told me won the CD Tyranasaurus Hives when he entered the advertisement contest. And he doesn't listen to that stuff, so he asked me if I wanted it. I shouted a "Yes" and plenty of "Thank yous" and he said he'll give it to me when break is over. He's going to Florida for the Christmas Break. I'll miss meh Justin.
But... SHIIIIIIIT YES. I get Tyranasaurus Hives! Justin is now officially my favorite person.
What else to say?
Well... hmmm... I was still a tidbit upset today. But oh well, what can ya do?
The original Richie Rich smoochin some guy. Is it from Saved? Well... I now want to see that movie. Despite my strong disliking of Mandy Moore.
HELL YEA! LET'S GET JEWISH!!!
Holy Grail Icons for you swell Holy Grail followers...
   
Random...
I don't know where this is from, but I found it amusing because my older sister has several water bras (one I actually gave her a Christmas present last year, hehe) and I'm always on her ass about them. I don't why women obsess over their chest. I think small bôobs are a sign of sophistication. Big ones just pop out and say "HEY! LOOK! I've got melons under my shirt." I have medium bôobs. And you're wondering why the fcuk I'm lecturing about brêasts... well it's time for you to know I'm very uncensored... and I talk about pretty much whatever the fcuk I want.
Like... FELLATIO! Wtf is up with that?
Or... LABIUM! Isn't that a cool word? (And yes, I know what a labium is... Do you?)
"Up yours, Count Drunkula."
Where is that quote from and who said it? (I know the answer, the question is... do you?)
Colleen
Posted at 06:20 pm by crows_vein
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