creative
music: {placebo - "my sweet prince"}
just a little something...spur of the moment type of thing. enjoy.
The Story of Syde's Fake Smile
Glaring at the razor blade lying sweetly in her trembling palm, she made a mental note of its beauty. How she envied it, how she longed to glow with such radiance as it did. The sight of it alone droned away the many perplexities in her life. It felt as if the barrier around her was being demolished brick by brick and she was sorting through the charred remains. But somehow...she only saw one path for her to tread. The path of long-awaited self-inflicted pain.
The darkness surrounding her had swelled like a battle wound. The blôod had ceased its flow out of the chasm... and the skin had turned into an intimidating bruised blemish. That is what her anguish was... a blemish.
Her eyes burnt from the newly formed film of tears, and yet she did not let them fall. She enjoyed the twinge, the sting that gave her so much joy...
Sydne wasn't a dark person... She never shared her morbidity with the world. Her self detestation and deâth wish had only stayed within the contents of her room. But this day, this day so full of personal agony, was poked at by an unwanted guest.
"I hope you're not thinking about doing the unjust..." commented an atrociously familiar voice from behind her.
"Rede, get the fûck out of here. This is none of your business." she abhorrently retorted.
"None of my business?" he protested, having his voice raise to challenge hers. She turned around to face him and found it arduous to stare into his eyes, "Where the fûck do you go off telling me it's none of my business?" he slammed the shoddy door shut and heard the hinges squeek in disapproval.
She stood up from her seat on the edge of her bed, it shook slightly, only being held up by stacks of novels and dictionaries and the occasional cinder block. "Just... what do you want?"
"What I want is for you to answer my question. I don't like having my statements pushed aside like sidewalk trash. Why the hell do you think this isn't any of my business?"
"It's nothing, Rede, just go home. Go home to Cassandra." she waved him off as if her was a door-to-door salesman selling age-defying face cream for a higher price than necessary.
"Cassandra?!" he exclaimed, flailing his arms up in the air resembling a traffic spectator, "Is this what it's all about? Cassandra?"
At the sudden hightening of his tone, Sydne winced and her eye twitched in discomfort, "No. No... just leave it alone. You don't have to go home, you just have to get out of here." She had now put on a false... fake smile in order to comfort him and persuade him to flee.
"Not until you answer my previous question," he pushed, "Why the fûck did you deny me the right to know what you were doing?"
The glass jar bottling up her feelings inside had finally been smashed against the wall...
"BECAUSE I DON'T FÙCKING MATTER TO YOU ANYMORE!"
The words, at last, have slipped out concealed in barbed wire blankets. They had just ran at him like a bull's horns to the the red sheet before them.
Sydne had been driven to tears now, the satisfying sting in her eyes had been released. She curled up against the bed side in a fetal position, bawling like an infantile fool.
Rede's voice had taken on Sydne's position, only in his throat. He found himself speechless. Sydne was always the repressed introvert who never had a short-fused temper, and never exploded her feelings onto the floor before an audience. Her random outburst had startled Rede into a silent shock.
But her incessant - yet soft - sobbing had brought him back to realism.
"What gave you that idea?" he asked, taking a seat beside her.
In between sobs, Sydne replied, "You've just been... really different around... me and i can't... stand it... Cassandra has... replaced me... and I feel... that I've been pushed... away."
"You think Cassandra has replaced you? She's not my friend, Syd, she's my housemate! I needed someone to share the rent and utilities fee. I don't even like her." he gently brushed a piece of her long straight maroon colored hair out of her face so he could see her emerald green eyes. They were surrounded by her black draining make-up, and black streams were riding down her pallid cheeks.
"She sure... fancies you... a lot." she managed to croak out between her manic gasps and exhales.
Rede smiled a little bit at her tender jealousy and slight envy, as he pushed the batch of hair behind her right ear, "It's not a mutual feeling. She's an acquaintance. A social nail in the palm. I could never feel for her what I feel for you."
He said it. He had only meant to tell her the first portion... he had just confessed, in vague terms, his true feelings and passions for Sydne.
She had noticed this and looked up at him with the two black trails hurdling down her face, "What?"
There was no point in covering up what had already been said. But he did not yet solidify it. Instead he grabbed her by her arm and pulled her up into a standing position. Still clasping her by her wrist, he wrenched open her hand, which was fully clenched holding the razor blade. The sharp edge had left a cut on the padding of her palm, and it was bleeding, the crimson fluid falling over the edges of her hand.
This did not spook Rede, this intrigued him. The fact that she felt no pain from this deep slit had amazed him, and if she had ignored it, he decided to as well, temporarily. Some things were more important.
The grip on her hand had loosened, and he dipped his index finger in the minscule puddle of red, and set it on her full and lush bottom lip, leaving a dark red drop.
He opened his mouth to speak, and what came out was for once something he had no doubt towards.
"I love you."
At this said, Sydne's tears stopped flowing and she held his gaze looking for any signs of dishonesty. Finding none, she pressed her cold lips against his of warmth.
He hands had found their way to her waist, and he set her gently on the bed and himself on top. She put her injured hand on his back shoulder, and it left a stain on his clean white shirt.
The two had fit perfectly together, and now Sydne had no reason to conceal herself in a guise any longer. No more fake smile...
~~~~
hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as i did writing it.
Colleen
"None of my business?" he protested, having his voice raise to challenge hers. She turned around to face him and found it arduous to stare into his eyes, "Where the fûck do you go off telling me it's none of my business?" he slammed the shoddy door shut and heard the hinges squeek in disapproval.
She stood up from her seat on the edge of her bed, it shook slightly, only being held up by stacks of novels and dictionaries and the occasional cinder block. "Just... what do you want?"
"What I want is for you to answer my question. I don't like having my statements pushed aside like sidewalk trash. Why the hell do you think this isn't any of my business?"
"It's nothing, Rede, just go home. Go home to Cassandra." she waved him off as if her was a door-to-door salesman selling age-defying face cream for a higher price than necessary.
"Cassandra?!" he exclaimed, flailing his arms up in the air resembling a traffic spectator, "Is this what it's all about? Cassandra?"
At the sudden hightening of his tone, Sydne winced and her eye twitched in discomfort, "No. No... just leave it alone. You don't have to go home, you just have to get out of here." She had now put on a false... fake smile in order to comfort him and persuade him to flee.
"Not until you answer my previous question," he pushed, "Why the fûck did you deny me the right to know what you were doing?"
The glass jar bottling up her feelings inside had finally been smashed against the wall...
"BECAUSE I DON'T FÙCKING MATTER TO YOU ANYMORE!"
The words, at last, have slipped out concealed in barbed wire blankets. They had just ran at him like a bull's horns to the the red sheet before them.
Sydne had been driven to tears now, the satisfying sting in her eyes had been released. She curled up against the bed side in a fetal position, bawling like an infantile fool.
Rede's voice had taken on Sydne's position, only in his throat. He found himself speechless. Sydne was always the repressed introvert who never had a short-fused temper, and never exploded her feelings onto the floor before an audience. Her random outburst had startled Rede into a silent shock.
But her incessant - yet soft - sobbing had brought him back to realism.
"What gave you that idea?" he asked, taking a seat beside her.
In between sobs, Sydne replied, "You've just been... really different around... me and i can't... stand it... Cassandra has... replaced me... and I feel... that I've been pushed... away."
"You think Cassandra has replaced you? She's not my friend, Syd, she's my housemate! I needed someone to share the rent and utilities fee. I don't even like her." he gently brushed a piece of her long straight maroon colored hair out of her face so he could see her emerald green eyes. They were surrounded by her black draining make-up, and black streams were riding down her pallid cheeks.
"She sure... fancies you... a lot." she managed to croak out between her manic gasps and exhales.
Rede smiled a little bit at her tender jealousy and slight envy, as he pushed the batch of hair behind her right ear, "It's not a mutual feeling. She's an acquaintance. A social nail in the palm. I could never feel for her what I feel for you."
He said it. He had only meant to tell her the first portion... he had just confessed, in vague terms, his true feelings and passions for Sydne.
She had noticed this and looked up at him with the two black trails hurdling down her face, "What?"
There was no point in covering up what had already been said. But he did not yet solidify it. Instead he grabbed her by her arm and pulled her up into a standing position. Still clasping her by her wrist, he wrenched open her hand, which was fully clenched holding the razor blade. The sharp edge had left a cut on the padding of her palm, and it was bleeding, the crimson fluid falling over the edges of her hand.
This did not spook Rede, this intrigued him. The fact that she felt no pain from this deep slit had amazed him, and if she had ignored it, he decided to as well, temporarily. Some things were more important.
The grip on her hand had loosened, and he dipped his index finger in the minscule puddle of red, and set it on her full and lush bottom lip, leaving a dark red drop.
He opened his mouth to speak, and what came out was for once something he had no doubt towards.
"I love you."
At this said, Sydne's tears stopped flowing and she held his gaze looking for any signs of dishonesty. Finding none, she pressed her cold lips against his of warmth.
He hands had found their way to her waist, and he set her gently on the bed and himself on top. She put her injured hand on his back shoulder, and it left a stain on his clean white shirt.
The two had fit perfectly together, and now Sydne had no reason to conceal herself in a guise any longer. No more fake smile...
~~~~
hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as i did writing it.
Colleen
