Comments

sore

current:::

music: {cradle of filth - "babalon AD"}
drink: cold peach flavored green tea
food: my lunch...a hotdog and a pickle. two equally phallic objects.
clothing: boxer shorts and an old gray t-shirt
view: my computer screen
feeling: concerned

anywho, lately i've been thinking about a lot of things. pondering what would happen when the school year starts up again. i'm not worried about the responsibilities, and the work, the challenges, and the assignments. i've always been successful in those areas. {not to sound conceited} grades aren't an issue with me much. i just have to stay in focus... and keep my priorities straight.
but i feel that next year i am going to have a trifle difficulty focusing. why, you ask? well... i don't know. i would be surrounded by my friends that i haven't seen in a long time. in the beginning of the year my grades are going to plummet to their doom because the only thing i'd be worried about is catching up with my buddies. or... maybe trying to figure out things with tom.
oh god... the tom factor. that's going to be a pain in the ass. i wonder how i'm going to deal with that.
yea, i've been dreaming a lot of things involving tom. but i dont ever remember much of my dreams. i can barely recall the one i had last night. all i know is that tom was there. that's it. is that bad?
god, next year is going be very eventful. i honestly don't know what i'm going to do with the tom issue... it's been easy for me to forget about him during the summer, but of course, i don't see him.
but chances are that when school begins, i will have to cope with seeing him around in the hallways. or maybe even at lunch. who the fûck knows? maybe he'd be in my gym class. oh god forbid.
i hope i'm not giving you all the wrong sign. i bet you're all thinking that i dislike him or something. which i don't. that's the problem, i like him a whole lot... and i'm just fretting over next year. what'll happen. what we'll become. i don't want there to be some sort of tension between him and i. because... i don't know why the fûck he ever liked me in the first place. i'm really not a likeable person. i'm easier to loathe than to admire... i'm really not good enough for him.
sure, we shared a kiss...a few at that, and i have no fûcking idea why that happened. indeed, it was beautiful, it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me... but come on. let's be realistic here. like he kissed me because he likes me. hah. why would he? i'm horrendous.
god... sometimes.... i just think i'm not good enough for a lot of things.

going to go read.

before you leave this site, scroll down and read the short story i wrote below this.. i would really appreciate some feedback. thank you.

Colleen


	zacarya July 29, 2004 04:45 PM PDT now that is a true friend, coll-ishus. listen to her, no matter how hard it may seem.


	britt July 29, 2004 04:06 PM PDT yeah colleen i'm a little sick of pretending to being the supportive friend like "hey go for it you both like each other" and being all nice about everything we talked about concering his personality, so now i'm going to be bluntly honest with you, and it may seem harsh and bitchy and i apologize, but its the truth. TOM is not worthy of YOU! you have it entirely backwards. tom is nothing but a horny little bastard who, sure, feels human emotions and all, but thats not the part he shows everyone and such like that. TOM cares about NOTHING but getting girls into bed. he thinks with his PENIS. theres nothing really good about him. he will TRY SOMETHING WITH YOU if you do end up "going out" and than when you won't give into him, he will either break up with you for lack of sex or cheat on you and get some other girl in bed. HE WILL ONLY HURT YOU! i know you can't control human emotions, so try to find someone else you can crush on or whatever. tom is NOT WORTH IT. i do not want you with him, i'm tired of pretending like "hey, its your life, go do what you want. i'll disagree, but i won't tell you what to do" well heres what you should do. whether you take my advice or not, its your choice. FORGET ABOUT TOM. HE WILL HURT YOU AND TRY TO GET YOU IN BED AND CHEAT ON YOU OR BREAK UP WITH YOU FOR LACK OF SEX. HE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOU COLLEEN. YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM!