anxious

music: {malice mizer - "beast of bloôd}

No fear, no sadness
Lofty life is tasting loneliness and eternity
And near by the target with no more life
Red drops on my greedy lips
Falls down on the freezing ground
Get down limitless night

   

  

i'm so bored. i need something to do. i need to see people. mom says i should do something with kate. but i don't want to. i don't know why, it just seems like kate has been my only source of fun this summer. i want variety, diversity, i need some other people. i'm awaiting nav's invitation in the mail, because if i go to her party i get to see carolyn, brittany t, diandra, and jessica. a recipe for madness ('',) plus... it's just effing great to get letters in the mail. doesn't it just spiff your boots?
anywho, there's a big possibility that we're going on a family camping adventure next weekend. i'm hoping to meet some interesting humanoids. i have this little fantasy... the parentals and younger sibling go off on a nature hike, i stick at the campsite to read my book... and some neighboring campers come for a heartfelt visit. whee. i watch too much television...
i've never been so eager to meet new people. i've always been the one that shuns social intros with the fellow race, but gosh, i am seriously losing it. i see the same people every fûcking day. mom. moira. dad. mom. moira. dad. mom. moira. dad. ...sometimes not in that order.
we went for a walk last night around sun-down, it felt good... getting out from behind the walls holding me in quarantine, taking a stroll down the private streets. passing the local elementary school yard. some people playing stick-ball and screaming random obscênities... nothing warms the heart more.
i was never so happy to see interaction between humanity, but i'm at a desperate level.
i'm sick and tired of the day to day routine i've gotten myself lodged into. i need some freshness. something to spunk up my day. i need new people, because i'm already starting to finish my mother's sentences. and you know you've had enough of your family when you begin to conclude their thoughts.
ugh... besides the fact that i have yet to succeed in my summer reading assignment, i'm looking forward to the new school year. hoping to see a couple of in-coming freshmen that i've had the pleasure of knowing in junior high. it'd be an intriguing experience. they're.. kind of not my type of people though. they're into the whole...r&b/pop wave that hit the world. hopefully their interest in sean paul and britney spears and a crowd like that is nothing but a phase, it being the horrid phase that it is. ick.

going to go clean something. ta ta.

Colleen