Entry: "but i'm not a warrior... i'm a duck." Friday, August 27, 2004




indecisive

if you're just a passer by, i would never ask this of you, but please read the whole entry. thank you.

current::

tunes: {rx bandits - "sell you beautiful"}
munchies: nothing at the moment, not hungry.
poison: chocolate milk. yum.
attire: yellow plaid jammie pants and my blue "my daddy likes donuts" shirt.
worry: what to do about ze script.







i used to get all my icons from greatestjournal. but now i've turned to xanga. whoo, go xanga.
since my computer is being a butt, i used moira's computer and got to swap IMs with my Iesbian lover last night over. i heart meh brittykins ;D (incase any of you are wondering, she's not really my lover, it's just an inside joke, and we have many more.) we discussed random things. nothing specific. just our anticipation towards the new school year, and our worries about how things'll turn out. blah.

i am...tired and bored. tonight we're going to town hall to watch jurassic park. i don't want to. i want to stay home. and after my mom does her "aerobics" i have to do my yoga. surprisingly enough, i don't want to do that either. i just feel like lying down, looking up at my dust- and bug carcass-infested ceiling and figuring out what i'm going to do about the movie script. i downloaded the first draft of dogma's script for an example, something to read and learn from. it isn't much help. it did however make me realize that i don't need to include the camera movements or directions. thank the lord. that would have been a pain. i took some notes yesterday and taught myself some things necessary for a script. abreviations for director lingo. wanna see? you can read what i write, or just click this link for more vivid information.

1
INT. - interior, meaning in a room or building
EXT. - evidently exterior, in the yard or in a street
INT/EXT. - character is inside looking out
EXT/INT. - character is outside looking in

2

Crab - camera moves completely left to right
Pan - camera pivots left to right
Tilt - pivots up or down
Boom - moves completely up or down
Dolly - moves in and our of subject
Zoom - camera merely zooms in and out

3
C/U - close up
MS - medium shot
LS - long shot
2 Shot - shot of 2 characters in same picture
V.O. - voice over
O.S. - off screen
P.O.V. - point of view
M.O.S. - without sound

the only things i'm going to include are sections 1 and 3. section 2 can be either added in or i can wing it if i decide to actually film it. which i highly doubt i'll get to do so. this script will be much too complex to film with my limitation of casting. who am i going to get to play the mom, the teacher, natalia, or zach? they're all older than the people i have access to. but hey...i'll figure it out.

i'm going to go work on it now. or maybe just ponder about the plot. i cant seem to decide how drew's english teacher dies in the end. i would love it to be % A, but her mother already took up that position. you cant have two self inflicted deâths in one movie, well maybe you can, but i won't have it.
i don't want rhamsy (drew's english teacher) to die of anything health related. no diseases. i want to be an . car crash is too cliche. plus her father is set for a tumble off the side of cliff a in his buick anyhow. so two vehicle incidents intailing ities, i won't have that either. anyone have a suggestion? i was thinking about him being mugged. but its in a small town outside of boston, a mugging would be too much of a coincidence. so if any of you readers have an idea as to how i can cut rhamsy out of the picture, leave a comment in this entry. please. i need an idea. thank you.

so until i figure out how he dies, i'll just continue writing it. bye bye.




these two icons here symbolize a lot. the first one resembles my attitude towards tom. i plan to just erase him from my memory. pretend that i still haven't had my first kiss. pretend that i was never flirted with, and pretend that no guy has ever confessed his interest in me before. and the second icon...well it symbolizes how i never felt true love. and how i constantly wonder what it feels like. i think i'm leading to a comment question of the day.

so included with your suggestion towards the dêath of rhamsy must be the answer to this question.

have you ever experienced love, and if so would you please elaborately describe what it's like?

Colleen
   3 comments

wicked
August 31, 2004   02:41 AM PDT
 
I know I'm kinda late, but here's my POV:

Love is so many different feelings. It's absolute euphoria, and it's utter despair, it's the sweetest kiss, and the deepest pain...
It's when your chest feels like it's caving in, whenever you hear that person's name. And when you see this person, you automatically understand why all of those stupid Cliche's were ever created in the first place.
It's being in a room full of people, and feeling like you two are the only ones there.
You can be yourself, completely and totally yourself with this person, you can pee with the door open, and not even give a second thought. (even for a person with "bathroom issues" lmao!)
You're accepted for who you are and you accept this person for who he is....

...maybe not totally specific, but neither is love...

Good luck with that teacher, wish I had some advice.
durandal
August 29, 2004   08:45 PM PDT
 
I figure none of this will be taken seriously, given what you've written thus far on the topic, but here's my two cents anyway.

Love is not one emotion. It is not something that no more than one person on this planet will make you feel, and it is not something you will feel only once in your life. Love is a spectrum, so the inherent problem is defining it colours. I think by looking at it in terms of True Love and not, you're depriving yourself of a lot of potential hapiness, not to mention opportunities to evolve. Are you going to turn away from some dork who has a thing for you and say "well, it's not True Love, sorry," or are you going to see what happens, let yourself care about the guy who's totally wrong for you, feel the pain of tearing yourself out of the situation, or trying, and learn a shiteload about life in the process? What does it really matter if he's a gobshite? Do you think you can let yourself have some fun with the guy? I don't know him, and maybe he is a total punk, but it would seem to me that if you didn't give a flying crap about him it wouldn't be an issue to begin with.

What are you really hiding from?
britt
August 27, 2004   06:59 PM PDT
 
oo man its virtually impossible to describe what love is like, but i can give it a shot =) it's instantly missing that one person when they leave, being on a natural high, thinking about them and smiling without even realizing it, getting extremely excited to see them, being in a really pissy mood and than just think of them completely changing that, becoming overwhelmingly happy just at the site or thought of them, wanting nothing more but to just be in that persons arms

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